PDF/EPUB [HEART OF DOMESTIC ABUSE] by Chris Moles

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Change inside the churchContrary to common belief abuse isn t always sexual or violent It can be manipulative controlling and perfectly legal Chris talks about a guy who keep track of if his wife left the house by chalking her tires then he d use that to start conversations did you go anywhere today There s nothing illegal about it but it s controlling and stifling to her go anywhere today There s nothing illegal about it but it s controlling and stifling to her and life Oppressors will stay within the law so long as they can get what they want by those meansThis is the insidiousness of abuse It obeys the lawAnother man who would leave all the cabinet doors open in the kitchen when he was upset with his wife On the surface this sounds like ordinary marital orgetfulness but in the past he would get physically violent after leaving the cabinet doors open So she d come home see the cabinets open and get hysterical in ear She couldn t tell anyone that he threatened her because who would believe that leaving the cabinets open was a threatThis is the insidiousness of abuse It hides in plain sightIn the church these men become spiritual oppressors using scripture to assert control over their wives and demanding whatever they want They also seek out powerful riendships like pastors and community leaders so that if their wife every says anything she has nowhere to turn toThis is the insidiousness of abuse It controls and manipulatesWith abuse so common in our culture and in our churches what hope is there The World in the Curl: An Unconventional History of Surfing for transformative change What hope is thereor men to start reflecting the love of Jesus Song of the Forest for theirst timeReview The Heart of Domestic AbuseWhen Chris Moles irst started researching this topic there was barely any information out there As he puts it it call it in one box He began to look A Constellation of Vital Phenomena for anything he could get his hands on to help change men s hearts and protect women and childrenrom harmWith this book Chris Moles dives into the deep end He tears apart the unbiblical answers Christians often use to respond to abuse situations He encourages the church to work with law enforcement and court orders to protect the lock and ulfill the commands of Scripture Romans 131 2 Too often church leaders have avoided the law and made things Sextasy: Master the Timeless Techniques of Tantra, Tao, and the Kama Sutra to Take Lovemaking to New Heights far worseMoles examines the secular approaches to domestic abuse and how theyail to make lasting change Many of them are only aiming to get rid of the violent and controlling tendencies with no concern to what they are replaced with The problem being they may remove this issue in the marriage only to replace it with gambling adultery or some other damaging sinThe Heart of Domestic Abuse works out the Biblical answer to this hard topic Chris Moles breaks down each issue into understandable components and uses real life stories to make them understandable He points out that the problem with angry men is not women refusing to be submissive but sinful pride illed hearts of men not submitting to GodHe points to Scripture to show that the role of
a husband is 
husband is lift up and support his wife like the male cheerleaders who launch the girls in the air so they can perform lips and tricks They watch with anticipation as the come back down sliding into place to catch them safely That s how Jesus supported us He taught the disciples and sent them out on practice runs Mark 67 13 He empowered them to do amazing things Godly men should be doing the sameTo learn about this topic and how to address it Biblically read on his blog PeaceWorks or listen to his podcast The PeaceWorks PodcastTo see reviews check out my blog This Sporadic Life. G with abuse and violence pastors and biblical counselors need to have the resources to offer hope and he. Tterer intervention group acilitator and pastor of Grace Community Church In Eleanor WV Encourages Community Church in Eleanor WV encourages leaders to intervene and maps out a healthy way to engage abusive men in his 154 page paperback The Heart of Domestic Abuse Gospel Solutions or Men Who use Control and Violence in the Home this manual is primarily or pastors biblical counselors manual is primarily or pastors biblical counselors church leaders who may ind they are working with a man who has used control and violence in home 6The Heart of Domestic Abuse aims or heart change in oppressive men The book is not intended to be given to the abuser but to aid the counselor in working them toward heart change The vast majority of the content guides the pastorcounselor through the process of shepherding heart change The author also deciphers the ploys often used by abusers to side step such changes And he shows what real gospel heart change will look like Pride and control are displaced by humility violence gives way to gentleness ridicule is overridden by encouragement blame shifting and denial bow before truth shepherding and loving the children replaces manipulation servant leadership triumphs over male privilege and stewardship rises above STFU, Parents: The Jaw-Dropping, Self-Indulgent, and Occasionally Rage-Inducing World of Parent Overshare financial abuse Right beliefs willoster right motives which will produce right behavior 115Moles writes rom a complementarian position rather than egalitarian Though the husband and wife are eual before God in the home economy they ulfill different roles Specifically the husband as head of the amily etc But the author rightly points out that in healthy complementarianism the husband s responsibility is to use his strength and position to serve our amilies rather than subdue them 7 That means when addressing abusive men who often see their marriages as a hierarchy of power where he oversees his wife s behavior and controls Her Actions They Would Do Well To See Themselves As actions they would do well to see themselves as of a hierarchy of responsibility placing emphasis on their position before God than their position above their wife 71 I personally thought the way the author handled this perspective was heartening and wholesomeThe Heart of Domestic Abuse needs to be in the hands of every Christian minister We minister s must take on domestic abuse because God hates oppression and the misuse of power over the powerless O LORD you hear the desire of the afflicted you will strengthen their heart you will incline your ear to do justice to the Are All Guys Assholes?: More Than 1,000 Guys in 10 Cities Reveal Why They're Not, Why They Sometimes Act Like They Are, and How Understanding Their ... Will Solve Your Guy Drama Once and For All fatherless and the oppressed so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no Psalm 1017 18 Please God And we must be ready to take on domestic abuse because this wrongdoing is than likely going on under the radar in most of our congregations I strongly recommend the book This topic is so misunderstood and it s encouraging to see a man a pastor even discuss it so well This book is well thought out the concepts are clear and there s noiller A great resource that should be a part of every pastor and elder s reading list This is a great book It should be reuired reading What a Lass Wants for anyone in a Biblical Counseling or mentoring role Abuse in the church never stays hidden The truth always comes out and when it does it s devastating We ve heard countless stories of Catholic priests sexually abusing children celebrity Christians abusing multiple women see Josh Duggar and so many heart breaking storiesFor every story we ve heard there are countless that have never been released to the public The statistics say that one inour or Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived five marriages has domestic abuse happening in it and we ve learned that those stats don Esus Christ as it is in the population at large With an estimated oneourth of women in the church livin. The Heart of Domestic Abuse by Chris MolesGospel Solutions or Men who use Control and Violence in the HomeFocus Publishing Bemidji MN 56601I The League for the Suppression of Celery first heard Chris Moles speak on domestic abuse in Lafayette IN at Faith Baptist Church during a training conferenceor the ACBC Association of Christian Biblical Counselors an organization which I m a certified memberHis opening remarks regarding the presence or even prevalence of domestic abuse among professing organization which I m a certified memberHis opening remarks regarding the presence or even prevalence of domestic abuse among professing took me back to a time early in my ministry when I suggested to my Sr Pastor that something seemed amiss in a particular The Thirteen-Gun Salute family He replied that I would not want to know half of what went on in the churchChris comments about domestic abuse in the church line up with what that pastor said Domestic abuse is not something most pastors want to deal with or even think they are ualified to deal with even if they wanted toTherefore Chris book is a needed resource to the church so that awareness is raised about this devastating sin Chris does than raise awareness he provides the biblical tools to deal with abuseThe book s content is asollowsChapter 1 The Heart of the MatterChapter 2 Behaving BadlyChapter 3 Motives MatterChapter 4 Self worship Pride and the Heart of AbuseChapter 5 BeliefsChapter 6 Power PlaysThe irst six chapters set worship Pride and the Heart of AbuseChapter 5 BeliefsChapter 6 Power PlaysThe irst six chapters set profile of the domestic abuser The next ive chapters serve as a blueprint on how to counsel an abuser A case study is part of each chapter as Chris gives a real life example of both the profile of an abuser as well as the heart change that is necessary to stop the violence and convert a man to loving his wife as Christ loves the churchChapter 7 Good News or a Troubling SubjectChapter 8 Hope or the Violent ManChapter 9 The Mind of Christ An Alternative to a Violent HeartChapter 10 Wanting Something MoreChapter 11 A Call to AuthenticityFive helpful appendixes ollowA Select Scripture References that Speak to AbuseB Behavior InventoryC Advocate uestionnaireD Church Discipline and AbuseE Teen Dating ViolenceChris methodology is amiliar to any biblical counselor as he stresses the importance of heart change rather than behavioral modification The book is rich in Scripture based diagrams explanations and the use of specific passagesChris is a pastor in West Virginia but also works as a certified batterer intervention group acilitator contributor and instructor with state agencies and local criminal correctionsI am sure that Chris book will be popular in any church that practices biblical counseling and where the pastors are not afraid to counsel their own people Chris Moles Websitehttpwwwchrismolesorg The signs are clear He shouts at her often sometimes smashing holes through the walls with his ists then blaming her nagging ways or his outburst He demands to know her every move even placing tracking apps on her cell phone He limits her alone time with her Gulp!: The Seven-Day Crash Course to Master Fear and Break Through Any Challenge friends because they re bador her Recently he took control of the The Outlaw and the Upstart King familyinances even mandating that all earned income be turned over to him Not only does he threaten to leave her and take the kids but she ound out recently that he tells the children he can t trust their mother and they need inform him whenever she does something they know he won t like These are a ew of the indications of domestic abuse They may not be physically violent but they are threatening oppressive and suffocating If you are this amily s pastor or elder do you ignore it or should you seek to intervene Chris Moles certified biblical counselor ba. Domestic abuse and violence are on the rise in our culture today and just as prevalent in the church of HEART OF DOMESTIC ABUSE