(The Illusion of Love) PDF READ ☆ David P. Celani

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Running with the Kenyans hOnly the individual who was not initially loved is capable later in life of attacking maiming or even killingis partner p 88Fairbairn s first point was that the greatest trauma that children can suffer is to feel fundamentally unloved by their mothers p 25Paradox it seems children can suffer is to feel fundamentally unloved by their mothers p 25Paradox it seems children should become less attached but in fact they become attached spending great energy on the attempt to win love from the rejecting object Males rage Paradox results in poor differentiation See pp 43 29Characteristics impulsive lack of deep attachment great dependency sense of inadeuacy difficulty telling the truth avoidance of responsibility See p 74A telling aspect of the violence committed by character disorders See p 74A telling aspect of the violence committed by character disorders that it is most often directed at innocent others rather than the original parents Direct anger toward the parents is almost always inhibited p 79Lack of emotional attachment combined with ferociousness infantile dependency accounts for much of the callousness seen in characterological relationships p89Ident. Domestic violence is a pervasive problem in our society that as only recently come to be acknowledged in public discussion Though Many See It As see it as social and political problem grounded in uneual gender roles this level of analysis fails to explain adeuately why many battered women return to their abusers despite intense suffering and the certainty of physical violence The Illusion of Love challenges the prevailing model which views the victim of abuse as a normal woman who is unable to escape from er batterer due to the effects of terror and psychological collapse Instead David Celani offers a new answer that women who are battered uit Drinking Easy Ways To uit Drinking For A Healthier Happier and More Motivated Life Without Alcohol Book 1 have a fundamental attraction to partners who are abusiveBased onis years of clinica. ,

The Illusion of LoveIs on parental rights That Effectively Block All effectively block all intervention into families until the children are nearly destroyed pp 206 209pro Fairbairn Kernberg Melanie Klein Anna Freud John Bowlby key explanation splitting abused self opeful self on p127 stages of the battering cycle argues for Fairbairn in contrast to Lenore Walker p 152 and evidence based practice The author lucidly describes the deep seated reasons that abused women get involved with and ave trouble leaving abusive men Celani is influenced by RD Fairbairn whose ideas were extremely advanced for is time The concepts explained Dreamland. Adventures in the Strange Science of Sleep here can be applied to anyone even those not in abusive relationships combine theory and practice well A little too self righteous in assuring the reader thatis approach is the only correct one but spot on and extremely insightful nevertheless Intelligently concentrated on attachment on the whole rather than the subject stated on in the title I d say it s one of must reads fora therapist. Stic men lash out violently in an attempt to control their own fears or abandonment and to compensate for unsatisfied emotional needsCelani concludes that domestic violence is often the tragic result of a union between individuals with complementary personality disorders His findings fly in the face of the politically correct refusal to examine the behavior of the victim of abuse a strategy that as led to a severe misunderstanding of the dynamics of the battering scenario The Illusion of Love calls for primary prevention of neglectful parenting to of the battering scenario The Illusion of Love calls for primary prevention of neglectful parenting to the tide of abuse in the future offering tangible ope for the treatment of victims of abuse as they attempt to extricate themselves from unhealthy damaging relationshi.

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Ity diffusion underlying structural weakness pp 90 91Moral
"Defense Against Bad Objects Self bad objects self criticism that the world is run by rules See pp 106 107Object constancy Versus Splitting fractures the child s ego pp 111 113Splitting alternating between two completely different and incompatible views of the object p 116 117The power of introjection pages 190 191In very primitive families all badness is projected onto one child who then contains all the sins of the family p 193The notion that we can solve a problem by repairing each individual who is afflicted by abuse without rectifying the underlying social problems ignores everything we know about similar The Princes Scandalous Wedding Vow human dilemmasThe models practitioners use do not prescribe interventions that lead to success and character problems are enormously difficultThe problem as I see it is our culture s almost unbelievable blindness to the long term effects of abusive or neglectful childhoodsHowever given the state of our current social policies and the emphas. L experience treating battered women Celani applies object relations theory and case examples fromis own practice to show that many women and indeed some men are unconsciously drawn to abusive partners because of personality disorders caused by childhood abuse and neglect He argues that any effective treatment for battered women must elp unravel futile and self defeating patterns such as ones that spring from fears of abandonment and fascination with men who produce exaggerated promises of love followed by extreme rejecting behaviors The Illusion of Love examines the personalities of abusers as well many of whom suffer from Narcissism A Disorder That a disorder that also often associated with childhood abuse and neglect Narcissi.  ,