[Anna and the French Kiss] PDF/EBOOK

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O finds herself shipped off to an American boarding school in Paris despite the trip to France most female readers will relate to Anna all she really wants at this point in her life is to hang out with friends kiss a hot boy and get asked to prom and ventually go to college It s hard to define Paper Chasers exactly what it is I love about Anna but I understood her and recognised a lot of what she felt from my ownxperiences during high school Though I like characters that are new and different Anna s familiarity made her all the relatable and likeableAlso Etienne St Clair is damn sexy Even though I m immune to the English accent thing because I live here with the The Complete Polly and the Wolf exception of Spike in Buffy I completely fell for the guy It s so so nice and refreshing to have a male love interest who isn t a douche I ve missed that And Etienne is adorable heven blushes So maybe he happens to be a little unrealistic But if you want honest depictions of the teenage male you can read some Melina Marchetta which I would highly recommend that you do But this novel wasn t about honesty it was about VOYAGES DE GRANDE CROISIERE enjoyment I get that and I appreciate it Thank you Ms Perkins for such a lovable readBlog Leafmarks Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr I cheated on hervery day In my mind I thought of you in ways I shouldn t have again and again She was nothing compared to you I ve never felt this way about anybody before What s the saying Once a cheater always a cheater Oh the fucking hypocrisyThere were many things I wanted to do to Anna Oliphant throughout this book Some of them involve a bottle of choloroform a shovel and an unmarked grave Mostly I just want to bring Anna in front of the US Congress as an A Riesling to Die example of how the USducational system has grievously failed our students To be frank Anna Oliphant is a motherfucking idiotYeah I guess you could say this is a sweet romance but it s not the good sort of sweet It s the Oh my god why did I Pookie-Pie: A Sweet Bedtime Story eat thatntire package of Oreos I DON T EVEN LIKE OREOS sort of sweet It s sickening and best in small doses and I still feel like I need an internal cleanse after spreading the reading of this book over several days The good thing about it is that this book isn t the sugar free type of sweet so there were no anal xplosions It wasn t the worst contemporary I ve ver read but this book was tremendously annoying and I simply do not understand the hype I know many of people njoyed it and I can see why Anna is the sort of character that grows on you much like mildew or herpes Once you get used to having it it doesn t really bother you much anyI m not opposed to romance I love romance but I read this book hoping to be swept away by a romance Instead I was sucked into a whirlwind of idiocyOh the Stupidity The only French word I know is oui which means yes and only recently did I learn it s spelled o u i and not w A Warlocks Dance (The Cursed Princes, e People like Anna Oliphant is the reason whyveryone hates Americans Anna is 17 and she is a moron She is the pitome of the stupid ignorant gocentric American For fuck s sakes she thinks there are motherfucking mimes on My First Kitten every fucking corner in France She thinks that people go watch mimes as anveryday pastime I m going to be sick I m going to vomit that weird Seeds of the Spirit 2000 eggplant tapenade I had for dinner andveryone wil hear and no one will invite me to watch the mimes Pin-Up escape from their invisible boxes or whatever it is people do here in their spare time I m sorry but I m inclined to judge anyone who doesn t know that oui is spelled o u i and not w It s one of those foreign words that isn t ven fucking foreign because it s so fucking common Oui is yes in French Si is yes in Spanish It s one of those words that s so fucking commonly used that you have to be a complete birdbrain not to knowAnna is terrified of anything foreign although to me France really isn t that foreign or Loyal to His Lies exotic but I didn t grow up in Atlanta Is Atlanta really that ass fucking backward Is Atlanta really completely isolated from the rest of the world despite being one of the biggest cities in the US Anna s words Do they not have paninis in Atlanta Where have you been all my life I ask the beautiful panini How is it possible I ve never had a sandwich like this before Not only is she ignorant she has no survival skills Anna is in Paris attending a school for Americans Fuckingveryone speaks English the French teachers speak English Anna is terrified of getting food in the cafeteria and avoids the cafeteria for weeks because she doesn t know how to order foodLet me tell you a brilliant way of ordering food in any language You smile you make ye contact at the desired food you point you nod It s motherfucking universalI hate to say but if you re a food you #point you nod It s motherfucking universalI hate say it but #you nod It s motherfucking universalI hate to say it but you re a girl you can get anyone s help most likely a guy but often another girl too just by looking cute and helpless and tilting your head at an angle guilty as charged It ain t feminist but it works when one is desperate and the fact that Anna doesn t have the fucking common sense to do this instead of hiding in her room for weeks like a motherfucking pussy doesn t bring her up in my stimation I m not judging Anna for being shy Anna is not shy I was a shy shy teenager Anna is incompetent There is a difference between incompetency and shynessAfter weeks and weeks of going to classes of learning FrenchAnna doesn t know how to fucking spell please in French Mer is next in line and I transcribe her speech phoneticallyOon ploss see voo play That s suppsed to be une place s il vous pla tHer impression of Paris is one with like blah blah Marie Antoinette and that really short dude like I think his name is Napoleon You know like the one on the horse in that painting by that dude And oh my god the Moulin Rouge and that cute little movie with the little girl in the yellow thingy MadelineAnd this is a chick who wants to be a film critic when she grows up My dream is to study film theory in California I want to be our nation s greatest female film critic Although judging from the way she thinks I think she s suited to a career writing for the tabloids the type with the sort of PRESIDENT OBAMA CAUGHT IN INTERPLANETARY ORGY ALONG WITH PUTIN AND MERKEL headline rather than as a film critic I wonder if Matt is a better kisser now that he has someone Fitness for Geeks experienced to practice on He was probably a bad kisser because of meOh noI m a bad kisser I am I must beSomeday I ll be awarded a statue shaped like a pair of lips and it ll bengraved with the words WORLD S WORST KISSERAnd Matt will give a speech about how he only dated me because he was desperate but I didn t put out so I was a waste of time because Cherrie Milliken liked him all along and she totally puts outOh God Does Toph think I m a bad kisser Anna Anna ANNA So beautiful without knowing it So perfect So adorably fucking clumsy She ven looks gorgeous when she falls flat on her fucking face You re beautiful I trip and fall down on the sidewalkI look away as he takes my hand and helps me up I m fine Fine I say brushing the grit from my palms Oh my God I AM a freak You ve seen the way men look at you right he continues If they re looking it s because I keep making a fool of myself I ve seen this before And it ain t cute Spare me the whole adorkable thing I don t like Zooey Deschanel and I don t like Anna It just looks like she s trying too fucking hard and the cute but oh so clumsy trope is just so fucking overplayed right now I wash my hands of itIt s not blatant but the relationships between the girls in this book are meant to portray Anna as the good one the best one the most adorakablest girly girl in the whole wide fucking world Rashmi is Rash Cute I don t think so Mer is just a little chubby Volleyball player chubby but it s ok Amanda the slut Amanda the bitch And Anna Anna is just so good because you know she feels really bad that Etienne likes her so she does verything she can to make Mer not jealous It s not Mer s fault that she s not good nough for Etienne And boy Saint Anna keeps reminding us that she s a good personAnd poor Ellie Poor Ellie Etienne s girlfriend But surely it s ok for Etienne to cheat on Ellie with Anna if she looks like a slut right Slutty nurse I don t believe it Tiny white button up dress red crosses across the nipples Cleavage city CHEATING IS OK IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A BITCH That s the message that this book sends Oh that Ellie That stupid stuck up Ellie Ellie who thinks she is better than veryone Winter Sunshine else Surely it s fine if Etienne seeks comfortlsewhere if his girlfriend is a cold fish a stuck up snot right No I don t fucking think so How about you break up with her FIRST Just because a girl is a jerk doesn t mean she deserves to be cheated on I do not appreciate the way this book sends the message that it s morally acceptable to cheat on a girlfriend who neglects you But it s morally acceptable to cheat on her if you feeeeeeeeeeeeel bad about it right Fuck this shitTHE CHEATING And yes it is cheating What do you call this I said you were beautiful I slept in your bed You neve. Ca muito contente uando o pai a Naked Choke envia para um colégio internom Paris As coisas começam a melhorar uando Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good ela conhece Étienne St Clair um rapaz deslumbrante ue tem namorada. When I was four I fell off a tree I hit the ground face first What I didn t know was that there was a very small sharp root sticking out of the ground at the base of the tree It went through my cheek I went to the ER but had to wait until 2am because it was a busy night I sat there for hours in that ER with a hole in my cheek When the doctor finally saw me he thought that since it was a busy night and there were so many people in the ER that he would just sew up my cheek without having to wait for an anesthetic And he did He sewed my cheek back together with no pain relief I have neverxperienced pain like that again in my life Until now Anna and the French Kiss was painful than that night in hospital It is a lifeless desolate lump of a novel Its only purpose in this world is as a gauge by which we measure bad novels This is the bottom of the gauge and Twilight is at the top Anna is the stupidest person I ve Murder at the Mansion ever come across in fiction She is a self confessed film buff and hopes to one day become America s leading film critic She obviously must know A LOT about film thenh sigh She s a supposed film buff but yet knows nothing of Paris PARIS The home of fucking film At one point in the novel she is genuinely SURPRISED that Paris has cinemas FUCKING CINEMAS How can she be so incredibly ignorant of the place where film was fucking invented and know literally nothing of French cinema BUT YET call herself a fan of film Ridiculous She Healing Souls eventually actually goes to the cinema a couple of times but lo and behold what does she watch American films She in the home of film and she watches American films I can t deal with this girl Oh but let us for one second talk about the love interest Mr My Name Is So French It s Borderline Racist tienne St Clair He is literallyvery male love interest YA cliche rolled into one festering tumour of a character He s American BUT has a British accent he has messy hair BUT his room is meticulously clean he s book smart smells nice and is probably the Second Coming of Christ He is UNBEARABLE He s like Augustus Water but this guy doesn t have the common courtesy to die at the Seductive Surrender end How rudeI hatedverything about this novel It felt unresearched rushed and in places dumbed down It is written in a style that I can only describe as unemployed Sex and the City screen writer I wish this novel came with a warning Keep out of reach of children and teenagers and adults dogs garden gnomes your grandmother school janitors priests gibbons and Seductive Surrender (Highland Heather Romancing a Scot, especially anybody who lives in Paris because this novel is an insult to their cityI ll finish with a uote from one of my favourite film critics Roger Ebert who gets a mention in this novel and I m pretty sure he s turning in his grave because of it I ll manipulate the uote a bit but the sentiment still prevails This book doesn t scrape the bottom of the barrel This book isn t the bottom of the barrel This book isn t below the bottom of the barrel This book doesn t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels Update after reading this book for the THIRD timeEtienne ETIENNE The boy of my dreams wellsecond place after Will Herondale but still that s a high honor Stephanie Perkins is one of my favorite YA contemporary writers as she has this way of writing books which really sound SO cheesy plot and title wise that leaves you in a puddle of happy tears and hormones after the last page This book has an inexplicable uality thatven after reading the book multiple times I can fall in love with the characters again and again and it feels like the first time The best romance book I ve ver read This read is not only completely and utterly adorable it is incredibly relatable and witty I love how Stephanie Perkins wrote ach character and how all of the characters will tie together in her three books I can t wait for Isla and the Happily Ever After to come out have you ver reread an old favorite because you needed a comfort read and then hated it it is a fate i would not wish upon my worst nemy my worst nemy is currently stephanie perkinsupdated review to come 2 stars o i used to love this book because i thought the love interest was a dreamboat but now i know that if i want a short guy who cheats on his girlfriend i can just go outside have decided to retire from reading new books will only be rereading old favorites with lily the book i thought i would never review I found this onlineNOW WHY COULDN T THIS BE THE ACTUAL COVERSt Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair ST CLAIRCan t I just fill this review with his name instead of xplaining how much I ffing LOVED this book and trying to describe in vivid detail how beautiful and amazing and gorgeous and sexy and adorable and cute and sweet and perfect and totally smoking HAWT St Clair isAsdfghjkl this is me being speechless I justI loved loved LOVED this book I m positively utterly totally absolutely completely undeniably IN LOVE with this book Just thinking about it makes me giddy Seriously It makes me wonder why don t my parents send #Me To France I Want #to France I want find my own Etienne dammit Sigh Just thinking his name makes me swoonOkay I m probably acting like an annoying fangirl right now but can you blame me I ll try to keep this review short before I go into complete fangirl mode which scares ven meI loved the characters Every single one of them They weren t there just to paint the background they all had depth and ach a different personality Anna was an awesome MC She was so amusing and comical ven when she was angry you kind of want to annoy her just to see her reaction She has a wonderful dad who cares if he d a dick He sent her to freaking PARIS And he meant WELL who sends her to School of America in Paris SOAP which is a boarding school There she meets a couple of students Meredith Josh Rashmi aaaaaand St Clair swoon who immediately befriend her Unfortunately or fortunately she starts having feelings toward the totally gorgeous off limits Etienne St Clair okay I ve learned to say his name without completely hyperventilating that s progress Not only does he have a serious girlfriend but Meredith the one who immediately befriended Anna and was kind and helpful to her from the beginning is also crushing on St Clair I totally get Anna I mean DUDE HE HAS A BRTISH ACCENT And he speaks French That alone should make you fall in love with him within the first five minutes of meeting him If only he were real le sigh I would positively run to Paris find him snatch him away from Anna grab his hand and run like hell Which is sort of kidnapping and illegal but WHO CARES I mean he s St Clair Totally understandable pout BUT HE S NOT REAL BAWLSGah he s just so perfect in this totally realistic way And so sweet did I BAWLSGah he s just so perfect in this totally realistic way And so sweet did I say that His love for his mother and friends makes me love him I need to stop I m already feeling light headed and woozy from thinking about it Don t worry normal symptom after reading this book So yeah Read it if you haven t already Don t let the blurb fool you it might sound clich but there is NOTHING clich about this book It uniue and one of the best books I ve ver readSigh Gosh I better stop or I ll start blabbering Anna France French kissssssss Paris St Clair St Clair St Clair St Clair I LOVE YOUUUUU patting myself on the back for having so much self controlI hope the companion novel is just as good as this Please make it good Mrs Stephanie Perkins I will forever be your slaveOh and I have a sneaking suspicious that the third book will be about Isla Martin and JoshBTW this is my version of St ClairISN T HE YUMMYI love you as certain dark things are lovedin secret between the shadow and the soul No thanksWatch my full review here This is one of the cutest feel good teen romances I have ver read It has a bit of verything that you want humour a likeable protagonist and a completely swoon worthy guy called Etienne St Clair You could fall in love with the name alone ven without the fact that he s sweet kind honest and nothing at all like any Of The English Boys I the English boys I up with It s a very cute book a very nice book neither is a bad thing but if I start mentioning words like cute and nice in a review you can guarantee two things a I liked it b It s not a 5 star novelI do understand completely why people love it but it was nothing new or unusual and didn t take me to new places motionally or intellectually I m not trying to discourage people from reading it in fact I would greatly stress that it is a delightful xperience very very pleasant to read and never challenging or mind boggling at all I spent my ntire Sunday completely submerged in it s sweet romantic pages and could have sighed with contentment at the nd There are problems during the novel but verything works out veryone s happy and no one dies It s the Le valeureux guerrier exact opposite of the novels Anna s dad writesAnna is a simple average teenage girl wh. Anna Oliphant tem grandes planos para o seu último anom Atlanta sair com a melhor amiga Bridgette Snowflakes on the Sea e namoriscar com um colega no cinema onde trabalha Por conseguinte não fi. R made a move You had a girlfriend No matter what a terrible boyfriend I was I wouldn t actually cheat on her But I thought you d know With me being there I thought you d know Ok Etienne has a girlfriend Ellie Etienne holds hands with Anna He is still with Ellie It s nice holding hands ComfortableI wish friends held hands often like the children I see on the streets sometimes I m not sure why we have to grow up and getmbarrassed about it You know why Because you wouldn t like it if Etienne held hands with another girl if he was dating YOU Fucking hypocriteFriends don t sleep in Wrathful Chaos: Five Books of Satanic Philosophy each others beds I mean I didn t SLEEP sleep with him Obviously But I slept with himI slept with a boy I burrow back down into my sheets and grin And that boy has a girlfriend And then you do it again While he still has a girlfriend While you have an almost boyfriendYou makeye contact and blush at ach other in a theatre While he has a girlfriendYou kiss ach other While he has a girlfriend While you have an almost boyfriendYou flirt with ach other While he has a girlfriend While you have an almost boyfriendI don t see this relationship lasting very long This book is adorable I m not gonna lie Wealthy white teenagers having first world problems Anna the valiant is plucked from Georgia and abandoned by her parents at a boarding school for rich American teens living in Paris where she collapses into tears at the injustice of it allIntrigued That s only the beginning of this incredible taleSadly my hopes for a dramatic twist of the Taken variety came to naught as the ntire novel progressed without a single gun fight kidnapping or car chase although at one point Anna s dream guy vomits on her In fact Humanism: The Greek Ideal and its Survival every plot twist for Anna and the French Kiss seems to have been lifted directly from rfirstworldproblems Chapter 1 Girl meets boy the plot thickensChapter 2 Girl wants to order some delicious Parisian food but does not speak French and is toombarrassed to ask for it in English Love 2.0 (A Cates Brothers Book, even thoughveryone here speaks EnglishChapter 3 French is like such a hard languageChapter The Fix etc There s some guy in Atlanta who wears skinny jeans below his bony arse and she likes him soooooo much but he doesn t like her and he screwed her best friend insteadAlmost immediately after landing in Paris and commencing to wallow Anna falls in love with literally the first male shencounters mainly because of his hair which I imagine looks something like thisIf that weren t nough this irresistible man creature of Anna s dreams also has an English accent speaks French omg omg omg and is approximately five feet tall Unfortunately though he s craven and Anna s a moron so they spend the rest of the book awkwardly not touching ach other s genitals Ah the plights of the teenager Seriously though this book is cute and unintentionally funny and will make you feel well disposed towards the world The GoodExcellent description of culture shock on return to AmericaThe BadThe characters are adorable but ultimately retarded The UglySo much teen angst so much crying so much drama 5 BRILLIANT STARSOne lovely word tienne Sweet sweet sweetI might just have fallen in loveThis story uals xactly Friday night rain outside chick flick Skittles chocolate popcorn comfortable couch lovely boyfriendfriends HEAVEN 10 Things You ll Find 1 A main character that has personality2 A swoon worthy love interest3 Some beautiful friendly relationships4 Secondary characters that are truly unforgettable5 A setting you won t resist it s Paris guys PARIS6 A plot that doesn t lack of originality7 Lovely humour that makes a delightful atmosphere8 A than pleasant writing style that doesn t do repetition9 No moment of boredom10 A new favourite series to fangirl overSuch a relaxing and absolutely worth reading story I m very picky with my contemporaries since I had so many bad Desire in Seven Voices experiences and try to learn from them and avoid subjects I don t feel comfortable reading about such as raping cheating polygamytc Those were only xamples doesn t mean the story contains all of them That s why I waited so much before reading this That and the negative reviewsI first discovered it last year and heard that there is cheating in the story which made me wince a little A lot actually At first I didn t want to ven slightly touch it But at the same time people cheating on others happens freuently in our society so not tolerating those kind of situations in my reads made me realize that I get uite limited on books I can read So I got passed that To be honest the cheating in this book did not bother me that much because 1 it was realistic 2 the guy was a dick and 3 means the girl concerned was then free of the guy in uestion Of course it isn t pretty but it s not that dramatic or taking many many pagesExcept for that cheating situation I was referring to above it s really the kind of read that will make you smile and smile and smile some but also feel concerned when necessary because ven though it s light overall there are some scenes here and there that are serious and sad but not unbearably sadAnother thing that I really appreciated was the fact That I Actually Learned I actually learned information about authors specially For xample I had no idea the author of The Little Prince Antoine de Saint Exup ry died in a plane crash How awful but pertinent information to learn in my opinion Anything concerning authors of classics is pertinent to my yesVery recommended specially to very YA contemporary romance fan out there You may also njoy Wish You Were ItalianBonne lectureArt source Edited to Add a Disgruntled Reader s Reply at the Bottom Apparently I don t know how to write reviewsThe best thing about this book The ndI don t read chick lit In fact I avoid it like the plague But this book received rave reviews from Lachlan's Protg (English Edition) every single person on my friendlist So I thought hey why not Maybe this won t be like the formulaic Mary Kate and Ashley movies my teachers made me watch in first grade Maybe Anna will be smart and witty And maybe Etienne will be awesome I m too optimistic Like The Duff this book suffers from wish fulfillment don t tell me this book is realistic I beg to differ It s a fantasy And there s nothing wrong with thatxcept when

*the protagonist is is self righteous hypocritical bitch I ve been able to relate to rich annoying white girls which is rather strange considering that 40% of my K 12 xperience was spent with them I can relate to wizards dragon riders and thieves but not this special brand of Mary Sue She s a combination of a Relationship Sue a Black Hole Sue and she s something of an Anti SuehttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphphttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphphttptvtropesorgpmwikipmwikiphpAnna also has an xtreme case of dickmatization I love that word If you re reading thank you for introducing it to me Princess Dickmatized When a girl can not concentrate on anything lse because she is distracted with the DICK of her latest piece of ass Her work is jeopardized she s a sell out to her girlfriends she picks up his shit including his kids or whatever She will do whatever it takes for the DICK Even if the dick isn t all that great she doesn t know the difference because she is dickmatizedIf we take Anna out of the uation this could be a decent book But as it stands I can t bother to care about her petty melodramatic woes Don t get me wrong the supporting cast wasn t bad though they were carbon copies of very single cast from very other teen romantic comedy The author takes potshots at Nicholas Sparks for using cancer as a plot device but she does the same thing If anything at least Sparks is a little original He uses a different disease very single time It seems like Perkins watched a few Disney specials and decided to write a book staring Hillary Duff Ashley Olsen Mary Kate Olsen a uirky original heroine And judging by the positive reviews she succeeded Well if Stephenie Meyer doesn t get you Stephanie Perkins will Anna is kind of like Miles Halter from Looking for Alaska But Miles actually fits in with his group Anna is like a fanfiction writer s brilliant but failed attempt at creating an OC She attracts the attention of almost all the guys in the book sans three her brother her x boyfriend and Josh the boyfriend of her friend She s beautiful and her arch nemy is the vil slutty rat faced Amanda She s a complete rip off of Lauren from How to Be Popular And coincidentally Anna attracts the attention of Etienne St Clair the hottest guy in school When he walks past girls gape Right This is me rolling my The Crucified Ones: Calling Forth the End-Time Remnant eyes But wait Etienne has a girlfriend Ellie Yup Ellie is our contrived bullshit roadblock the reason why our two fated lovers cannot be togetherI d like to write a bit about conflict If your hero has a bitchy girlfriend and your MC is supposedly nice he looks like an idiot when he stays with that girlfriend For a love triangle to work there must be a valid reason as to why the girl or guy is caught in the middle of two people Demeaning one of the love interests is. Ele Anna tornam se grandes amigos Grace Hopper and the Invention of the Information Age (Lemelson Center Studies in Invention and Innovation series) e as coisas ficam infinitamente mais complicadas Irá Anna conseguir um beijo francês Ou algumas coisas nãostão destinadas a acontece.  


Anna and the French Kiss